Hi!

I’ve been listening to songs from when i was a child. I remenber the time of logging into habbo hotel and watching these people cool profiles and rooms, the times when you could have a cool customized youtube channel, and games like halo and call of duty where actually fun xd.

I remember listening to this nightcore songs while playing black ops 2 in the good old xbox 360 (And it isn’t even that old if you really think about it (。＿。))

Now that I’m older I’m starting to realize that i just may have been an adhd sweaty tryhard all along 💀

And now i’m just realizing why i like so much those fast pase shooting and rythm games. And it makes sense, i feel like all my life has been driven by this hyper activity of doing things right and fast, like my brain is just speending a lot of effort into thinking about every single posibility, leaving me really drained.

But despite that i feel like music is something that gives me a lot of energy, and it gives me what i need to be focused? I’m still trying to reflect and think about what happens in my head. Trying to manage lack of attention is something hard but at the same time i feel like i’ve managed to do incredible things just by “trying hard” (￣▽￣)” in my favorite games each day.

I really like challenge and somethimes i feel like i can just take the world in any moment. But life is a lot different, there is no clear objetive at reach, the challenge now isn’t the challenge itself, rather the figth you have with yourself about what you want to achieve.

With a heavy lack of attention now this seems imposible, but my pride now tells me that “there’s no f*king way you are backing down from a challenge” so i just keep trying ≡(▔﹏▔)≡

Like a dark sould boss now i feel like i have to be a good programmer, i have to be an artist, i have to get a good job. And now that i think about it, i have to is really different from i want to. And i mean, i really want to, but when it comes to take the challenge, you clash with the fact that there’s no clear end objetive, or final camouflage weapon you can strive for.

So now the challenge is really get to know what “being a good programmer” is. And what that really shows is the real question of “what do i really want?” ￣へ￣

Gaming is something that passionates me, but at the end i came to the realization that gaming is just a representation of an story. Your story, and what you do in it.

With this in mind, i can now realize that the things i really like is story telling, character design and the supperation of challenge.

I truly feel like an artist, i want to draw, i want to write, i want to compose music, i want to develop and program thing with real personality. I want to develop things that shares feelings and conects with people.

But after trying and trying, this is the true really hard challenge. The mission now is to adquire the skills i didn’t during my childhood. and it is rooough man xd

I hope this page becomes the testament of my creative efforts, and at the moment, i’m felling really proud for the small though slow painfull progress ✨

I don’t think anyone will read this brain dump but thanks anyway for being here ＞︿＜

Here is a sick mix of nightcore idk (～﹃～)~zZ